I’m the type of person who gets bent out of shape when someone misrepresents OCD, so it could be easy to see how the Emmy-award-winning show, Monk, could ruffle my feathers. But for whatever reason, it doesn’t. In fact, I find Adrian Monk and his OCD incredibly hilarious and on-so-relatable. Here are ten of Monk’s funniest quotes.
Adrian Monk Quote #1
Gail: Do you lie awake at night, thinking about ways to disrupt my husband’s campaign?
Monk: No, ma’am. I lie awake at night and try not to think at all.
Anyone struggling with OCD knows how hard it is to turn their brain off daily, let alone at night when you’re doing nothing but lying in bed with time to think. Monk shares the same challenge.
Episode: Mr. Monk and the Candidate
Adrian Monk Quote #2
Natalie: Are you afraid of frogs?
Monk: I don’t know. I’ve never been this close to one. [A frog lands on Monk’s shoe] Yes. The answer is yes. Put frogs on the list. Where’s the list?
N: I got it. I got it. Where does it go?
M: Put them between possums and, uh, soccer riots. No, no, no. Uh, after soccer riots. And before, uh, before hailstones. Yeah, so it goes…
N: I got it, I got it: Soccer riots, frogs, hailstones.
M: At least now we know. Information really is power.
I’ve never met someone with OCD whose compulsions only revolve around one thing; it’s usually an ever-evolving list with different things taking precedent in the brain. The list is never complete, and always looking for additions.
Adrian Monk Quote #3
Monk: We used to come here all the time.
Monica Waters: You and your wife?
M: Yeah, it’s so different. That blackboard was over there, and I think the salt and pepper shakers are new.
MW: Is that it?
AM: Yeah, that- That’s it.
MW: You don’t like change, do you?
M: I have no problem with change. I just don’t like to be there when it happens.
Change can be good or bad. When I moved away from my support system, the change that followed was fantastic. But it’s not always like that. Sometimes, change—even change you know is coming—can make OCD flare up. I believe this is why studies have found that people with anxiety crave predictability and a sense of comfort. It’s probably why I’ve watched Dexter 8 times.
Episode: Mr. Monk and the Other Woman
Adrian Monk Quote #4
Natalie: He’s actually kinda cute (talking about a mouse)
Monk: Natalie, don’t touch him! Later on when we have time, I’ll tell you a little story about the BLACK PLAGUE.
Uh, hypochondria. Amirite? Hypochondria was my first glimpse of OCD’s power over my brain. It’s no longer the primary focus of my obsessions, but it still pops up a few times a year to remind me of what it’s capable of. Case and point: COVID-19.
Episode: Mr. Monk and the Captain’s Marriage
Adrian Monk Quote #5
Sharona: You’re going straight to hell.
Monk: I am in hell.
This is what irks me the most about how people who don’t have OCD view it. From the outside looking in, I can see why and how OCD can be so appealing. For example, a few years ago, I was at a friend’s house and we started talking about how punctual he is. The next thing out of someone’s mouth was, “Oh, so you’re OCD like that?” I don’t think this person meant anything by it, but it bothers me how OCD is so often misrepresented as being incredibly clean or “perfect” in every way. It’s not. It’s hell.
Episode: Mr. Monk Meets the Candidate
Adrian Monk Quote #6
Monk: [About to shake hands with five people] It’s a stampede. Get a wipe ready.
Anyone who has OCD knows how predictable it is, at least in terms of what will bother them. For me, germs get me every time. If I know I’m going to contact someone I don’t know, coming in contact with them, e.g., shaking hands will absolutely set me off. I’ve gotten better at preventing the inevitable, but OCD still knows how to affect me.
Episode: Mr. Monk and the Marathon Man
Adrian Monk Quote #7
Monk: What if she doesn’t like me?
M: I mean, I’m not crazy about me.
OCD isn’t just about obsessive thoughts and compulsions. For a lot of people with OCD, it impacts how they view themselves. I know it does for me. At my lowest point, I blocked everyone out. The depression was too much. I was embarrassed about how I was acting and the weight gain that came with the stress. OCD has the power to make you think that there’s a giant sign over your head that lets people know something’s wrong.
Episode: Mr. Monk and the End (Part Two)
Adrian Monk Quote #8
Natalie: Wait. My belt. My good luck belt.
Monk: How’s that working out for you?
N: Can you help me? Get the beads out. It’s hollow. We can make it like a snorkel. I’ll buy us some time. It works. Try it.
M: No, I’m fine.
This quote comes from an episode in which Monk and Natalie are on the verge of drowning in a submarine. Despite the desperate situation and the fact that Natalie identified a means to survive while they waited for help (she used her lucky belt as a makeshift snorkel), Monk refused to use it. This is so relatable, and I liken it to ERP. Unfortunately, despite the proven efficacy of the therapy that can tackle OCD head-on, I sometimes refuse to practice it.
Episode: Mr. Monk Is Underwater
Adrian Monk Quote #9
Ms. Lennington: Mr. Monk, what would you say is your greatest strength?
Adrian Monk: Oh. Mmm… [long, expectant pause] My decisiveness.
I often struggle to make decisions because I’m afraid of what’s to come (from an OCD standpoint). If a friend asks me to grab a bite to eat, I don’t know what to say because I start worrying about germs. If someone wants to go on a road trip, I worry about having an anxiety attack on the road. When it comes to OCD, it’s never an automatic “yes” when it’s time to make a decision.
Episode: Mr. Monk Gets Fired
Adrian Monk Quote #10
Sharona: Don’t you ever wonder why you don’t get invited anywhere?
Monk: No, not really…”
Before I started sharing my struggles with my friends, one of them called me out for ghosting him seemingly every chance I could get. Of course, he didn’t know what was going on, so to him; it looked like I didn’t want to be friends anymore. While the conversation was tough, it was incredibly impactful and made a huge difference in our friendship. That said, I completely understand why people may decide not to invite me somewhere. It’s not that I’m not interested. It’s that OCD puts a proverbial brick wall that I sometimes can’t get by.
Episode: Mr. Monk Meets Dale the Whale
The Oh-So-Relatable OCD Detective
As someone who takes it personally when someone intentionally or unintentionally misrepresents OCD, I understand why it may be surprising that I’m so fond of Adrian Monk.
Maybe it’s because when I fell in love with the show, I was too naive to the impact OCD had on millions of people. Perhaps if I were to start watching now, my POV would be different. I don’t know. What I do know is that I find comfort in Monk and watch it often. It makes me laugh and has someone who’s seen some dark days, I’ll never turn down one of those.